The Survival Blog for Widowers

Start Taking Care of Your Life Today

We all have things in our lives that need taking care of.  I’ve been reminded of this too many times in the last six years as I’ve had my mother, then father, and finally my wife pass away. Add to that several friends who simply passed into eternity in their mid sixties while sleeping as well as some dear friends lose their spouse. As a result, I’ve come to realize the brevity of life in a personal way.

I’ve also retired. Retirement caused a loss of the daily relationships I had with many people. Because of the limitation of time, it is important that we take care of business. The time for doing it is now. I want to suggest five needs we all have that will help us take care of business now.

Five “Need to Dos” When Taking Care of Business 

1. Hold What Needs Holding

Philippians 2:16 English Standard Version (ESV), “holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.”

Hold on to your loved ones.

• • Have you told your adult children how much they mean to you? 
  • Have you told your adult children how proud you are of them? 
  • Why not let them know today?

Hold on to your values.

• • Get back to church – attend by streaming services, Zoom, or in person (as your health and comfort allows).
  • Don’t compromise your personal values just to add new friends or to gain the approval of a woman.

Hold on to God’s principles and truths.

• • My grandmother warned me years ago to not run with the wrong crowd. She had me memorize 1 Corinthians 15:33 (ESV), “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’”
  • Do what is right. My mother taught me from James 4:17 (ESV), “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.”

2. Mend What Needs Mending

Ephesians 4:32 (ESV), “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

• • Mend that broken relationship with family, a friend, or a business associates.
  • Call them – take responsibility.
  • Visit them – forgive them.
  • Send a note or email – take the first step.

3. Walk What Needs Walking

Matthew 5:41 (ESV), “And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.”

If your a widower like me:

• • Get started – stop looking at the past, start living today, and begin dreaming about your tomorrows.
  • Get off dead center – mind broken relationships with adult children and friends
  • Stop procrastinating – don’t put off until tomorrow what you can start doing today

4. Say What Needs Saying

Ephesians 4:29 (ESV), “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

• • Have you found that words hurt you? Your words can also hurt others.
  • Don’t let your words hurt others.
  • Be a goodfinder, not a nitpicker.

5. Pray What Needs Praying

1 John 1:9 (ESV), “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

John 16:24 (ESV), “Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.”

Takeaway: Ask God what plans He has for you and then do them! 

Jeremiah 33:3 (ESV), “Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.”